BAKER'S  EDITION 

Of  PL7\Y3  fi 


>CENES  IN  THE  UNION 
DEPOT 


Price,  25  Cents 


<88«     «v   WALTER   H     BAKER   &  CO 


.  W.  ^tnero's 

icc,  50 


THE  AMAZONS    Farce  In  Three  Acts-    Seven  males,  five  female!. 
Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  not  difficult.    Plays 
a  full  evening. 

THE  CABINET  MINISTER  Farce  ta  Four  Acts-  Tenma!es'nine 

females.  Costumes,  modern  society  ; 
scenet  y,  three  interiors.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

DANDY  DICK    Farce  in  ^^^^  Acts.    Seven  males,  four  .  females. 
Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  two  interiors.    Plays 
two  hours  and  a  half. 

THF  GAY  I  ORD  OllFX    Comedy  i*1  Four  Acts.    Four  males,  ten 
lily  L,  y    Li       females.    Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery, 

two  interiors  and  an  exterior.    Plays  a  full  evening. 


HI^  HftFKP  IV  HDTIFD    Comedy  in  Four  Acts.    Nine'males,  four 
1113  11UU3C  m  UWIEtt    females<    Costume8)  modern  ;  scenery, 

three  interiors.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

THF  HORRY   HORSF    Comedy  ^  T^ree  Acts.    Ten  males,  five 
females.  'Costumes,  modern;  scenery  easy. 
Plays  two  hours  and  a  half. 

IRIS    Drama  in  Five  Acts.    Seven  males,  seven  females.    Costumes, 
modern  ;  scenery,  three  interiors.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

I  ADY   ROIINTIFIII      Play  ^  •Four  Acts-     Eight  males,  seven  fe- 
L,  vv  VLt    maieg_    Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  four  in- 

teriors, not  easy     Plays  a  full  evening. 

I  FTTY    Drama  ^  Four  Acts  and  an  Epilogue.     Ten  males,  five  fe- 

males    Costumes,  modern;  scenery  complicated,    i 
full  evening. 


Sent  prepaid  on  receipt  of  price  by 

falter  ^.  I3afee*  &  Company 

No.  5  Hamilton  Place,  Boston,  Massachusetts 


Scenes  in  the  Union  Depot 


A  Humorous  Entertainment  in  One  Scene 


By  LAURA  M.  PARSONS 

Author  of"  The  Old  Main's  Convention,"  "  Aunt  Jeru- 
sha's  Quilting  Party"  "  The  New  Woman's  Reform 
Club"  "  A  Variety  Contest"  "  Jerusha  Daw's  Family 
Album"  "District  School  at  Blueberry  Corner  t,"  etc. 


BOSTON 

WALTER  H.  BAKER  &  CO 


Scenes  in  the  Union  Depot 

CHARACTERS 

TICKET  AGENT. 

DEPOT  MASTER, 

MAN  AT  LUNCH  AND  CANDY  STAND. 

BOOTBLACK. 

MRS.  SNYDER  and  daughter  MIRANDA. 

MRS.  LARKIN. 

Miss  SOPHIA  PIPER. 

MR.  JONES. 

WOMAN  and  BABY. 

UNCLE  JOHN. 

JOSIAH  POITER  and  wife  NANCY, 

MR.  ARMSTRONG  and  five  small  children. 

THREE  SCHOOLGIRLS  (DOT,  BESS  and  TRIX). 

DUDE. 

MRS.  AMELIA  HUMMER. 

Two  ITALIAN  MUSICIANS. 

MR.  and  MRS.  MARTINDALE. 

BRIDE  and  GROOM. 

Two  YOUNG  LADIES  (Rosy  and  MOLLY). 

Two  YOUNG  MEN  (Ros  and  DICK), 

CASSY  and  JUPITER,  and  FATHER. 

COLLEGE  QUARTETTE. 

LILY,  ELIZA,  GEORGE,  and  MR.  WHITE 

HAROLD  and  FLOSSIE  (elopers). 

MR.  and  MRS.  LINTON  {Flossie's  parents). 


COPYRIGHT,  1905,  BY  WALTER  H.  BAKER  &  Co. 


-;RU- 

jRL 

S137101 


DIRECTIONS 

To  imitate  sounds  of  trains,  tack  two  pieces  of  coarse  sand- 
paper on  boards  and  rub  together  to  make  sound  of  escaping 
steam.  Ring  large  bell  and  shake  walnuts,  or  something  sim- 
ilar, in  a  barrel.  The  sound  of  car  wheels  over  switches  may 
be  made  by  successive  jars  of  a  window-sash.  In  imitating 
sounds  of  departing  trains  a  snare  drum  may  also  be  used. 

Stage  set  in  imitation  of  a  railway  station.  Window  for 
ticket  agent ;  candy  and  lunch  stand  ;  railroad  maps  on  wall ; 
seats  or  benches  as  near  like  those  found  in  depots  as  can  be 
procured.  Such  are  often  found  in  shoe  stores.  One  row 
should  be  near  the  front  for  important  characters.  One  door 
at  left  rear  for  outgoing  and  one  at  right  rear  for  incoming 
passengers.  Door  at  side  for  street  entrance. 

NOTE. — In  several  instances  one  person  may  take  two  parts, 
thus  lessening  the  total  number  of  people  required. 

A  few  passengers  who  have  no  special  part  come  and  go, 
buy  tickets,  and  patronize  the  lunch  stand. 


Scenes    in    the    Union    Depot 


SCENE. — Union  Depot  waiting  room.  Curtain  rises  show- 
ing two  men  asleep,  a  Bohemian  woman  with  large  basket, 
MRS.  BROWN  and  JOHNNY,  and  TICKET  AGENT  at  his  w.in- 
dow. 

MRS.  BROWN  (shaking  JOHNNY).  Wake  up,  Johnny,  it's 
'most  time  for  the  train.  The  ticket  agent  says  it'll  be  here  in 
just  ten  minutes.  QOHNNY  rubs  his  eyes,  yawns,  and  falls 
asleep  again  while  his  mother  opens  a  lunch  box  and  takes  out 
a  large,  thick  slice  of  bread  and  butter.  MRS.  BROWN  shakes 
JOHNNY  again.)  Wake  up,  Johnny,  and  eat  your  breakfast. 
(JOHNNY  takes  a  large  bite  and  drops  asleep.  MRS.  BROWN 
wakes  him  again  and  makes  him  eat,  and  drink  milk  from  a 
bottle  until  the  sound  of  an  arriving  train  is  heard.)  Hurry 
up — drink  faster — the  train's  coming. 

JOHNNY  (with  mouth  full  of  food).     I  don't  want  any  more. 

MRS.  B.     Well  then,  hang  on  to  the  bottle  and  come  on. 

(DEPOT  MASTER  calls  train.  MRS.  B.  hastily  picks  up 
bundles  and  exits  at  left  rear,  leading  JOHNNY  by  the 
hand.  Passengers  from  incoming  train  enter  at  right 
rear.  Among  them  are  MRS.  LARKIN,  MR.  JONES,  Miss 
PIPER,  MRS.  SNYDER  and  MIRANDA.  BOOTBLACK  carries 
grip  for  MR.  JONES.) 

MRS.  LARKIN  (to  AGENT).  When  does  the  next  train  leave 
for  Coffinbury? 

TICKET  AGENT.     Four  o'clock,  madam. 

MRS.  L.  Four  o'clock  !  Eight  hours  to  wait !  Guess  I'll 
have  a  chance  to  get  acquainted  with  quite  a  few  folks  in  that 
time.  (Buys  ticket  and  takes  seat.  MR.  JONES  also  buys 
ticket.) 

BOOTBLACK  (to  MR.  JONES).  Shine,  mister?  (MR.  JONES 
nods  assent.) 


D  SCENES   IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

MRS.  SNYDER  (after  piling  bundles  and  baskets  on  seat  and 
floor}.  Land  sakes,  Mirandy,  go  right  back  and  get  my  um- 
brelly.  I've  left  it  on  the  cars. 

MIRANDA.     Why,  Ma  Snyder,  you  tied  it  on  to  ye. 

MRS.  S.  Laws  a  me,  so  I  did  and  here  it  is.  Hang 
on  to  that  hand-bag,  Mirandy,  I  couldn't  get  along  without 
them  pills  that's  in  it  no  way.  (Looking  around.)  I  don't 
see  your  Uncle  John  nowhere.  He  said  he'd  meet  us.  (To 
AGENT.)  Have  you  seen  a  man  "round  here  lookin'  for  me 
and  Mirandy? 

AGENT.     No,  madam. 

BOOTBLACK.  I  guess  I  seen  him.  Did  he  have  a  wart  on 
the  end  of  his  nose  and  a  big  black  mole  on  the  left  cheek  ? 

MRS.  S.  (indignantly).  Keep  still,  you  young  urchin,  you 
don't  need  to  tell  everybody  'bout  it.  It  ain't  nothin'  'gainst 
a  body  to  have  moles  and  warts.  (Enter  UNCLE  JOHN  at 
street  entrance  looking  about.)  There's  Uncle  John  now. 
Here  we  be,  John.  (They  meet,  shake  hands,  and  kiss.) 
How's  Emmeline? 

UNCLE  JOHN.  She's  fine,  as  you  will  soon  have  a  chance  to 
see.  Have  you  any  luggage? 

MRS.  S.  Luggage  !  Well  I  should  say  so.  This  satchel 
and  bandbox  is  ourn,  and  so  is  this  pail  of  pie-plant  jam,  and 
this  basket  of  head  cheese  and  pickled  pigs'  feet.  (MIRANDA 
drops  a  basket.) 

MIRANDA.     Oh,  my  !     What's  in  this  basket  ? 

MRS.  S.  Why,  Mirandy,  it's  them  eggs  we's  taking  to 
Emmeline.  (Peeks  in  basket.)  You've  broke  ev'ry  last  one 
of  'em,  so  you  have.  I  packed  'em  in  your  green  silk  waist  so's 
to  protect  'em. 

MIRANDA  (whining).  Why,  Ma  Snyder  !  Now  I  can't  go 
to  Cousin  Maria's  party. 

UNCLE  JOHN.  Don't  worry,  your  Aunt  'Lizbeth'll  fix  you  up. 
Is  this  all,  Susan  ? 

MRS.  S.  (looking  around).  I  left  home  with  an  umbrelly, 
but  the  land  knows  where  'tis  now. 

MIRANDA.     Why  ma,  you  tied  it 

MRS.  S.  Oh,  yes,  yes,  yes.  It's  most  as  much  bother  to  tie 
it  to  ye  as  it  is  to  carry  it  in  your  hand.  But  I  hain't  lost  it  yet 
anyhow.  There's  another  basket,  Mirandy.  What's  become 
of  it? 

MIRANDA.     What  was  in  it? 

MRS,  S.     Why,  it  was  that  old  fightin'  rooster  we  killed  this 


7 

mornin'.  (To  MRS.  L.)  Excuse  me,  madam,  but  I  believe 
this  is  the  basket  here  by  you. 

MRS.  L.  (indignantly).  Excuse  me,  madam,  but  it  is  not. 
Tliis  is  my  basket. 

MRS,  S.  Well  then,  we  must  have  left  it  on  the  cars.  I'd 
ruther  it  would  be  that,  though,  than  my  umbrelly.  (Picks  up 
bundle.}  I  guess  now  we've  got  all  that  belongs  to  us.  How 
glad  I'll  be  to  see  Emmeline. 

(Exenht  UNCLE  JOHN,  MRS.  S.  and  MIRANDA  at  street  en- 
trance. At  same  entrance  enters  a  woman  in  great  haste 
carrying  a  baby.  She  looks  quickly  about  and  approaches 
MR.  JONES.) 

WOMAN.  Oh,  kind  sir,  won't  you  hold  my  baby  while  I  go 
and  find  my  little  boy?  He  got  away  from  me  in  the  crowd. 

MR.  JONES.  I  couldn't  think  of  it,  madam.  My  train  will 
be  here  in  a  very  few  minutes. 

WOMAN.  Oh,  but  I'll  be  back  in  just  a  minute.  I  must 
find  little  Harry. 

(Puts  baby  into  his  arms  and  exits  hastily.  MR.  J.  holds 
baby  awkwardly,  and  nervously  looks  often  at  his  watch.) 

Miss  PIPER  (to  MR.  J.).     Is  this  your  youngest  ? 

MR.  J.     N-no,  it's  the  oldest. 

Miss  P.  Well,  now,  you  don't  mean  to  say  there's  another 
younger.  Mebbe  it's  a  twin. 

MR.  J.  It's  not  a  twin,  madam,  and  there's  no  youngest  or 
oldest  about  it.  I  think  he  wants  you  to  hold  him — I'm  sure 
he  does.  Give  your  paddy  to  the  lady,  Willie,  Billy,  or  what- 
ever your  name  is. 

Miss  P.  Oh,  no,  babies  always  cry  when  I  take  them. 
He'd  rather  stay  with  his  papa,  I  know  he  would.  Wouldn't 
you,  baby  ? 

MR.  J.  Madam,  this  is  not  my  child.  A  woman  forced  it 
into  my  arms  while  she  went  to  find  her  little  boy.  My  train 
will  be  here  in  five  minutes.  I  am  on  my  way  to  be  married 
and  it  will  never  do  to  take  this  child  with  me.  Won't  you 
have  mercy  on  me  and  hold  the  child  until  its  mother  returns  ? 

Miss  P.     But  mebbe  she  won't  return. 

MR.  J.  But  she  will.  (DEPOT  MASTER  calls  train.  MR.  J. 
rises  and  picks  up  grip.*)  Won't  some  one  have  pity  on  me 
and  take  this  baby  ?  What  would  Molly  think — what  would 


8  SCENES   IN    THE    UNION   DEPOT 

her  folks  think !     Oh,   I  never  was  in  such  a  plight  before. 
(To  Miss  P.)     You  must  take  him,  madam,  you  must. 

(Puts  child  in  her  arms  and  rushes  out.     Sound  of  depart- 
ing train.') 

Miss  P.  Mercy  on  me  !  What  can  I,  a  poor  lone  female, 
do  with  this  baby  if  its  mother  never  comes  back.  Some- 
body's always  imposing  on  them  that  has  no  one  to  lean  upon. 
What  shall  I  do? 

MRS.  L.  I  guess  all  you  can  do  is  to  set  still  and  wait  till 
the  mother  comes  back. 

Enter  JOSIAH  and  NANCY  POTTER  at  street  entrance. 

BOOTBLACK  (to  JOSIAH).     Shine,  mister? 

JOSIAH.  Wall  now,  Bub  (looking  down  at  shoes'},  ye  don't 
think  ye  could  do  a  better  job'n  that,  do  ye?  My  friend's 
private  bootblack  fixed  'em  up.  We've  been  in  the  city  two 
weeks  visitin'  some  rich  folks  and  my  shoes  have  been  shined  like 
this  ev'ry  day.  They  won't  need  blackin'  again  fer  a  year.  If 
1  you'd  jest  tackled  me  on  the  way  in,  Bub,  you'd  likely  got  a  job. 

(JosiAH   and  NANCY   takes   seats ;    Miss   P.  carries  baby 
around  and  nervously  watches  the  doors.') 

MRS.  L.  (to  NANCY).  So  you've  been  visiting  friends  in  the 
city,  have  ye  ? 

NANCY.  Yes,  we  took  a  sudden  start  one  day  and  jest 
locked  up  the  house  and  went. 

MRS.  L.     What  train  be  ye  goin'  to  take  ? 

NANCY.  The  ticket  man  said  it  would  be  goin'  in  half  an 
hour.  You  see  we  believe  in  bein*  on  time.  I'd  ruther  wait 
a  whole  hour  than  run  up  too  near  the  time. 

MRS.  L.  I  s'pose  ye  see  lots  of  sights  and  had  lots  of  good 
things  to  eat. 

JOSIAH.  Wall,  as  fur  as  the  eatin's  consarned  I  shall  be  glad 
to  get  back  home  and  set  down  to  a  bowl  of  puddin'  and  milk. 
I  don't  think  them  Welsh  rabbits  are  any  better'n  the  common 
kind  that  run  back  of  our  barn.  As  fer  eatin'  soup  with  a  fork, 
I  jest  couldn't  do  it.  Ye  see  Nancy  kept  at  me  all  the  way  in 
'bout  eatin'  with  my  fork,  so  I  s' posed  I'd  got  to  eat  ev'rything 
with  it — soup  and  all.  Another  time 

NANCY.  Oh,  say,  Josiah,  did  you  get  them  pictures  Mrs. 
Beebe  sent  after  ? 


SCENES    IN'    THE    UNION    DEPOT  9 

JOSIAH.  Blast  it !  I  forgot  the  name  of  one  of  'em  an' 
'tother  one  I  couldn't  find  nowheres. 

NANCY.  How  disappinted  she'll  be  !  You're  sure  you  got 
the  name  right  ? 

JOSIAH.  Land,  yes !  I  asked  for  Minervy  at  the  Pump 
ev'ry  time. 

NANCY.  Josiah  Potter  !  It  was  the  Goddess  Minerva  and 
Rebekah  at  the  Well  that  she  wanted.  That's  the  man  of  it ! 

MRS.  L.  What  a  bother  it  is  to  do  errands  for  other  folks. 
I've  stopped  it — I  won't  be  bothered  in  that  way  any  more. 
No  great  things  happened  to  ye  while  ye's  in  the  city  ? 

JOSIAH.  Nothin'  serious.  (Laughs, ~}  Guess  I'll  have  to 
give  ye  Nancy's  experience.  Ye  see  we  got  separated  one  day 
while  we's  goin'  'bout  the  city  and  couldn't  find  each  other 
nowheres.  When  it  got  to  be  dinner  time  Nancy,  not  bein' 
used  to  them  funny  kind  of  doors,  goes  in  behind  'em  and  asks 
for  somethin'  to  eat.  She  says  she  got  a  good  square  meal, 
but  it  wouldn't  do  to  let  the  folks  at  home  get  wind  of  it  'cause 
she'd  never  hear  the  last  of  her  eatin'  dinner  in  a  saloon. 

NANCY.  I  went  in  there  'cause  it  said  a  good  dinner  for 
twenty-five  cents.  'Twan't  no  worse  than  for  you  to  be  hustled 
off  to  the  perlice  station,  Josiah. 

MRS.  L.     How's  that? 

NANCY.  Well,  you  see  Josiah  kept  looking  for  me  in  all 
the  stores  and  peekin'  into  the  women's  faces  till  they  'rested 
him  as  a  'spicious  character. 

JOSIAH.  Nothin'  serious  happened  to  us,  though.  We  found 
each  other  'fore  dark.  It's  queer  how  they  run  some  things  in 
the  city.  A  gal  in  one  of  the  stores  asked  me  if  I  didn't  want 
a  hand  satchel  for  my  wife.  I  was  lookin'  on  'em  over.  Says 
I,  why,  yes,  I  reckon  she'd  like  one  fustrate.  I  thanked  her  as 
perlite  as  I  knew  how  and  started  off  with  it.  I  hadn't  got  to 
the  door  'fore  somebody  grabbed  me  by  the  collar  an'  'cused 
me  of  stealin'  it.  I  s'posed  that  was  one  of  them  days  they  was 
givin'  things  away  like  ye  read  'bout  in  the  paper.  Right  after 
that  I  stepped  on  a  woman's  dress  an'  tore  off  'bout  two  yards 
of  rufflin'.  It  didn't  make  her  look  very  happy.  I  couldn't 
hear  jest  what  she  said,  but  'twas  somethin'  'bout  an  old  goose. 

NANCY.     Why,  Josiah  Potter  !     How  awful  you  acted. 

JOSIAH.  There's  one  thing  I  didn't  do.  It  said  on  one  of 
them  big  store  winders  :  "  Come  in  an'  have  a  fit."  I  hur- 
ried right  by.  I've  never  had  a  fit  yet  an'  I  ain't  a  goin'  to  if 
I  can  help  it.  Oh,  Nancy,  I  most  forgot  that  I  bought  a  pres- 


IO  SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

ent  for  ye.  They  was  sellin'  jewelry  awful  cheap  in  one  of 
the  stores,  most  givin'  it  away,  so  I  bought  ye  some  earrings. 
The  fellow  said  they  had  diamonds  in  'em. 

NANCY.     How  much  did  ye  pay  for  'em  ? 

JOSIAH.     Two  dollars. 

NANCY  (examining  them).  Josiah  Potter !  They  ain't 
worth  two  cents.  You  jest  throwed  that  money  away.  You 
made  a  big  fool  of  yourself  that  time,  Josiah. 

JOSIAH.  It  beats  all  how  many  fools  there  be  in  the  world, 
then,  for  most  ev'rybody  was  buyin'  'em. 

NANCY.  But  there  ain't  any  holes  in  my  ears;  they  growed 
up  long  ago. 

(Sound  of  arriving  train.) 

JOSIAH.  That's  our  train.  (Picks  up  bundles.  DEPOT 
MASTER  calls  train. ~) 

NANCY  (to  MRS.  L.).  If  you  ever  get  anywhere  near 
Pottersville  come  an'  see  us. 

MRS.  L.     I  surely  will.  [Exeunt  JOSIAH  and  NANCY. 

Enter  passengers.  Among  them  are  MR.  ARMSTRONG  and  five 
children.  Two  little  girls  are  hanging  to  his  coat  crying, 
a  baby  is  in  his  arms,  and  two  boys  are  fighting  over  a 
bag  of  peanuts.  MR.  ARMSTRONG  buys  his  ticket  and  sits 
down. 

MR.  ARMSTRONG.     Boys,  stop  your  fighting. 

PETER.  If  Thomas  Jefferson  don't  let  me  have  some  pea- 
nuts I'll  bust  his  head  open.  (Gir7s  cry  louder.) 

MR.  A.  Stop  your  crying,  girls,  or  you  will  wake  Na- 
thaniel up. 

SARAH  (slapping  her  father's  ami).  I  don't  want  to  go  to 
Aunt  Mary's.  She's  cross. 

MR.  A.     All  right,  we'll  leave  you  here  in  the  depot. 

SARAH.     I  don't  want  to  stay  here,  either. 

MR.  A.  Peter,  if  you  don't  behave  I'll  lick  you.  Give  me 
that  bag  of  peanuts. 

PETER.  There  ain't  any  peanuts  it  it.  Thomas  Jefferson 
et  'em  all  up. 

MR.  A.  Shame  on  you,  Thomas.  Don't  let  rue  hear  any- 
thing more  from  either  of  you  until  the  train  comes.  Oh,  the 
trials  of  a  widower  with  five  children  ! 

Miss  P.     You  have  quite  a  charge,  I  perceive. 


SCENES   IN   THE    UNION   DEPOT  II 

MR.  A.  Indeed  I  have,  madam.  I've  had  it  ever  since 
Matilda  was  laid  away  under  the  sod. 

Miss  P.   (sighing}.     Misery  likes  company. 

MR.  A.     Are  you  in  trouble,  madam  ? 

Miss  P.  Indeed  I  am,  sir.  You  wouldn't  mind  having 
another  child  to  look  after,  would  you?  (PETER  turns  a 
somersault. ) 

MR.  A.  Peter,  behave.  (To  Miss  P.)  Not  if  the  child 
was  old  enough  to  look  after  these  little  ones. 

Miss  P.     But  it's  not.     It's  only  a  baby. 

MR.  A.  Madam,  you  are  not  trying  to  dispose  of  your  own 
child,  are  you  ? 

Miss  P.  I  haven't  any  child,  sir.  I  am  Miss  Sophia 
Piper. 

MR.  A.     Perhaps  it  is  a  nephew  that  you  have  charge  of. 

Miss  P.  I  don't  know  who  it  is,  nor  what  it  is,  nor  how  old 
it  is,  nor  nothing  about  it.  Its  mother  went  off  after  another 
child  and  left  it  here  and  it  don't  look  as  if  she  was  ever 
coming  back  after  it. 

MR.  A.     You  have  my  sympathy,  Miss  Piper. 

Miss  P.     And  you  have  mine,  Mister 

MR.  A.     Armstrong. 

Miss  P.  (aside).     Oh,  how  supporting  the  name  sounds. 

MR.  A.  I  cannot  tell  you  how  I  appreciate  your  sympathy. 
A  few  moments  ago  I  was  discouraged,  lonely  and  miserable, 
but  my  heart  is  lighter  now. 

Miss  P.     I'm  so  glad  to  be  of  any  use  to  you — to  any  one. 

Enter  WOMAN  leading  little  boy.     Approaches  Miss  P. 

WOMAN.  Oh,  how  good  you  have  been  to  keep  my  baby. 
Thanks  ever  so  much.  (Takes  baby.}  It  took  me  the  longest 
time  to  find  Harry.  I'm  so  much  obliged  to  you,  indeed  I 
am.  \_Exeunt  WOMAN,  baby,  and  little  boy. 

MR.  A.     Now  you  will  be  out  of  misery,  I  suppose. 

Miss  P.  Really,  I  shall  miss  the  little  fellow  for  I  was 
getting  quite  attached  to  him.  Shan't  I  hold  your  baby 
awhile  ? 

MR.  A.  You  are  very  kind,  but  I  wouldn't  like  to  burden 
you  with  him.  He  is  quite  heavy. 

Miss  P.  It  wouldn't  be  a  burden  at  all.  I  shall  quite  enjoy 
it.  (Takes  baby.} 

MR.  A.     How  charming  and  congenial  some  people  are. 


11  SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

Miss  P.  (aside}.     I'm  so  glad  he  thinks  so. 

MR.  A.  Our  train  is  due  in  just  one  hour  but  I  wish  it 
might  be  an  hour  late  for  the  time  is  passing  so  pleasantly. 
Kindred  spirits,  you  know. 

BETTY.     Pa,  what's  kindred  spirits? 

MR.  A.     Be  quiet,  Betty. 

Miss  P.     I  feel  the  same  way. 

MR.  A.     I  judge  that  you,  too,  are  lonely  at  times. 

Miss  P.     Very  lonely,  indeed. 

MR.  A.  Have  you  never  longed  for  a  pleasant  home  and 
some  one  to  protect  you  ? 

Miss  P.  So  often,  oh,  so  often.  Such  a  life  would  be  so 
delightful,  I'm  sure. 

MR.  A.  Matilda  was  a  very  happy  woman.  I  protected 
her  as  long  as  I  could,  poor  thing,  and  now  I  am  protecting 
her  children.  It's  pretty  up-hill  business. — Don't  slap  me  so, 
Sarah — I  feel  at  times  that  I  ought  to  have  help  about  it. 

Miss  P.  You  surely  had,  Mr.  Armstrong.  I  think  two 
could  manage  these  children  better  than  one. 

MR.  A.  My  dear  Miss  Piper,  you  are  so  good.  Will  you 
not  be  the  one  to  help  me  ? 

Miss  P.  Oh,  this  is  so  sudden,  Mr.  Armstrong.  I — well, 
really  I 

MR.  A.  I  pray  you  won't  say  me  nay,  for  my  happiness 
depends  upon  your  answer. 

Miss  P.  Really,  Mr.  Armstrong,  you  have  drawn  so  upon 
my  sympathies  that  I  cannot  say  no. 

MR.  A.  Oh,  my  dear  Sophia,  how  bright  life  seems  to  me. 
I  feel  now  that  I  can  bear  any  and  every  trial.  Mountains 
seem  like  mole  hills. 

BETTY.     Pa,  what's  a  mole  hill  ? 

MR.  A.  Keep  quiet,  Betty.  (To  Miss  P.)  There'll  be 
time  to  .hunt  up  a  parson  and  be  married  right  away.  Shall 
we  not  unite  our  hearts,  our  hopes,  our  aims  at  once,  dear 
Sophia? 

Miss  P.  (aside).  The  sooner  the  better.  (To  MR.  A.) 
I'm  ready. 

MR.  A.  Come,  my  precious  children,  your  father  is  going 
to  be  made  very  happy. 

PETER.     Be  you  goin'  to  a  circus  ? 

THOMAS  J.     Can  we  have  some  more  peanuts  ? 

MR.  A.  The  very  first  thing  I  shall  do  will  be  to  buy  a 
whole  bag  for  each  of  you.  [Exeunt  at  street  entrance. 


SCENES   IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT  13 

Enter  at  same  entrance  three  girls  from  the  city  talking 
and  laughing.  Sound  of  arriving  train.  Enter  passen- 
gers, including  two  ITALIANS,  DUDE,  and  MR.  and  MRS. 
MARTINDALE. 

BESS  (pointing  to  DUDE).  Look,  look,  girls,  we're  just  in 
time  to  witness  the  grand  arrival.  Isn't  he  stunning? 

DOT.     Loveliest  of  the  lovely.     Just  wait  till  he  sees  us. 

TRIX.     Look,  girls,  he's  changing  his  gloves. 

BESS.     Such  lily-white  hands. 

DOT.     He's  mama's  darling. 

TRIX.     And  papa's  little  man. 

BESS.     And  aunty's  pet. 

BOOTBLACK  (to  DUDE).     Have  a  shine,  yer  honor? 

DUDE  (looking  down  at  shoes}.  These  are  patent  leathers, 
don't  yer  know. 

(Takes  mirror  from  pocket  and  adjusts  cravat  and  twirls 
mustache.} 

DOT.  Bess,  go  and  ask  the  ticket  agent  for  a  bandbox  to 
put  him  in. 

(DUDE  sees  girls  and  walks  over  to  them.} 

DUDE.     Handsome  day,  girls. 

TRIX.     Quite. 

DUDE.     Balmy  breezes,  don't  yer  know. 

DOT.  Rather  too  breezy  for  freshies,  don't  yer  know. 
(DEPOT  MASTER  calls  train.}  Come  on,  girls,  or  we  will  miss 
our  train.  [Exeunt  girls.  Sound  of  departing  train. 

BOOTBLACK  (to  DUDE).     Don't  slip  up,  Mr.  Slicky. 

[Exit  DUDE  at  street  entrance. 

(MRS.  HUMMER,  with  basket  of  flowers,  rushes  in  panting 
for  breath  and  red  in  the  face.} 

MRS.  HUMMER  (to  AGENT).  Give  me  a  ticket  for  Pottsdam, 
quick. 

AGENT.  Madam,  you're  too  late,  your  train  is  just  pulling 
out. 

MRS.  H.  (excitedly}.  Well,  stop  it  then  till  I  get  on.  (To 
DEPOT  MASTER.)  Here,  mister,  you  holler  at  it  to  stop.  I'll 
pay  my  fare  on  the  train. 

DEPOT  MASTER.  Can't  do  it,  madam.  I'm  sorry  for  you 
but  you'll  have  to  wait  for  a  later  train. 


14  SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

MRS.  H.  That  train's  gone  too  soon.  If  you'd  ben 'tendin' 
your  business  I'd  ben  on  it.  I'm  on  my  way  to  Cousin  Jede- 
diah's  funeral  and  'Rastus  run  the  horses  most  to  death  to  get 
me  here  on  time.  I  stepped  over  to  Sally  Tinker's  back  door 
jest  "fore  we  started  to  tell  her  I  was  goin'  and  to  say  good-bye, 
but  I  wan't  there  more'n  two  minutes.  She  made  me  eat  a 
strawberry  turnover  but  I  most  swallered  it  hull,  I  was  that 
'fraid  I'd  be  late. 

DEPOT  MASTER.     I  guess  your  two  minutes  were  twenty. 

MRS.  H.  The  idee  !  I  never  even  stopped  to  tell  Sally 
what  Cousin  Jedediah  died  of.  Sally  showed  me  the  stripe  for 
her  new  rag  carpet,  an'  a  new  kind  of  a  sunbonnet  pattern, 
an'  a  new-fangled  machine  for  buggin'  taters,  but  I  merely  shot 
a  glance  at  'em.  She  wanted  me  to  taste  of  her  strawberry 
jam  but  I  jest  shut  my  lips  tight  an'  hurried  away.  I  know 
I'd  got  the  train  all  right  if  you  hadn't  let  it  start  too  soon. 

DEPOT  MASTER.     The  train  left  just  on  time,  madam. 

MRS.  H.  I  don't  believe  it,  an'  I  ought  to  have  a  ticket  for 
nothin'  for  gettin'  left.  When  does  the  next  train  go  ? 

DEPOT  MASTER.     In  two  hours. 

MRS.  H.  I  guess  I'll  telegraph  to  Polly  Ann  to  put  off  the 
funeral  till  I  get  there.  (To  AGENT.)  I  want  to  telegraph  to 
Polly  Ann.  Supposing  mister,  you  write  down  what  I've  got 
to  say.  (AGENT  writes  as  MRS.  H.  dictates.}  DEAR  POLLY 
ANN  :  The  train  started  too  soon  an'  I'm  left.  If  Jedediah 
knew  how  bad  I  feel  'bout  it  he'd  turn  over  in  his  coffin.  I 
promised  him  years  ago  that  I'd  let  nothin'  keep  me  from 
'tendin'  his  funeral.  The  flowers  I'm  bringin'  him  will  be  all 
wilted  but  they  prob'ly  won't  look  any  worse'n  he  does.  I'm 
sending  this  telegram  to  tell  ye  to  put  off  the  funeral  till  I  get 
there.  It  may  be  dark  but  the  moon  comes  up  early.  If  the 
preacher  an'  the  singers  hain't  got  there  when  you  get  this  you 
better  put  off  the  funeral  till  to-morrow  for  I  shall  be  so  tired 
ridin'  on  the  cars  that  I  shan't  be  able  to  keep  up  under  the 
grief.  This  ain't  my  handwritin'  but  it's  from  me  jest  the 
same.  I'm  tellin'  a  feller  what  to  say.  Good-bye.  Your 
affectionate  cousin,  AMELIA  HUMMER. 

AGENT.     Three  dollars  and  seventy-five  cents,  madam. 

MRS.  H.  Three  dollars  and  seventy- five  cents  f  What  do 
you  mean?  Why  I  thought  you  could  send  a  telegram  for 
twenty-five  cents. 

AGENT.  But  you  can  only  send  ten  words  for  twenty-five 
cents,  and  this  message  comes  to  three  seventy-five,  madam. 


SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT  15 

MRS.  H.  Well,  I  declare!  'Rastus  is  always  sayin'  that 
talk's  cheap  but  I  shan't  believe  it  any  more.  You  can  jest 
tear  that  up,  mister,  and  put  down  :  (Counting  each  word  on 
her  fingers.)  The  train  started  off  too  soon  and  I  got  left. 
(Pays  him.}  I  wouldn't  miss  'tendin'  that  funeral  for  ten  dol- 
lars but  when  it  comes  to  payin'  three  dollars  and  seventy-five 
cents  for  sayin'  a  few  words  on  paper  an'  mebbe  get  cheated 
out  of 'tendin'  the  funeral  besides,  I  ain't  agoin'  to  do  it.  I 
must  hurry  an'  find  'Rastus  so's  to  ride  back  with  him.  He 
was  goin'  to  do  some  errands.  (To  DEPOT  MASTER.)  The 
next  time  I  come  I'll  be  here  early  an'  see  that  you  don't  let 
the  train  start  'fore  it's  time.  [Exit. 

(  The  ITALIANS  sing  or  play  some  musical  instruments,  pass 
the  hat  and  exeunt.') 

MRS.  MARTINDALE.  I  wish  you'd  see  how  late  our  train  is, 
Harry. 

MR.  MARTINDALE.  You  know  already,  for  I  asked  just  a 
few  minutes  ago. 

MRS.  M.     What  if  you  did  ;  ask  again. 

MR.  M.     Well,  I  will  in  a  minute. 

MRS.  M.  Put  down  your  paper,  Harry,  and  ask  him  now. 
Can't  you  be  obliging  for  once? 

MR.  M.  (aside).     Some  women  are  so  fussy. 

MRS.  M.  I  wish  you'd  get  me  a  glass  of  lemonade  and  just 
step  outside  and  see  what  time  it  is  by  the  depot  clock. 

MR.  M.     I  can't  do  three  things  at  once. 

MRS.  M.     I  didn't  ask  you  to.     You  men  are  so  stupid. 

MR.  M.     Well,  which  shall  I  do  first  ? 

MRS.  M.  See  what  time  it  is.  No,  I'm  most  choked;  get 
the  lemonade.  (As  MR.  M.  starts  off  MRS.  M.  calls  him  back.} 
You'd  better  look  at  the  clock  first  for  there  might  not  be  time 
to  drink  the  lemonade,  but  oh,  dear,  I'm  most  choked. 

MR.  M.  It  won't  do  to  let  you  choke,  Mamie,  so  I'll  get 
the  lemonade.  (MR.  M.  goes  to  the  refreshment  stand.} 

MRS.  L.  (to  MRS.  M.).     What  a  kind  husband  you  have. 

MRS.  M.  Oh,  he's  kind  in  his  way.  Like  all  other  men,  I 
suppose — takes  his  own  time  for  doing  things.  Oh,  dear,  I'm 
most  choked.  I  wish  he'd  hurry  up. 

MRS.  L.  I  wouldn't  give  a  cent  for  lemonade  that  was  made 
in  a  jiffy.  You  have  to  give  the  sugar  a  little  time  to  dissolve. 

MRS.  M.  1  just  expect  the  train  will  come  and  we'll  be  left. 
It  takes  Harry  so  long  to  do  anything.  He  stops  and  talks  too 


l6  SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

long.  (MR.  M.  re f urns.}  At  last.  {Takes  glass  and  sips  a 
little.}  I  can't  drink  this,  Harry,  it's  too  sweet. 

MR.  M.     The  man  said  it  was  first-class. 

MRS.  M.  I  can't  help  it  if  he  did.  It's  too  sweet  and  I  can't 
drink  it. 

MR.  M.     Well,  I  can.     (Drains  glass.} 

MRS.  M.  (to  MRS.  L.).  You  can  see  what  I  have  to  endure. 
(  To  MR.  M.)  Now  bring  me  a  glass  of  ice  water  and  be  quick 
about  it  for  my  throat  is  so  dry  I  can  scarcely  swallow.  (MR. 
M.  goes  for  water.} 

MRS.  L.  My  husband  never  waits  on  me  the  way  yours 
does  on  you. 

MRS.  M.  I  should  hope  not,  for  you'd  have  a  hard  time  of 
it  if  he  did.  (MR.  M.  brings  water.  MRS.  M.  takes  glass}. 
I  wanted  you  to  bring  me  a  piece  of  ice  in  it.  It  probably 
would  have  melted,  though;  before  you  got  here.  (Drinks.} 
Now  see  again  what  time  it  is  and  how  long  before  the  train'll 
be  here. 

MRS.  L.  I  should  think  your  husband  would  want  to  sit 
down  and  rest  awhile. 

MRS.  M.  Rest !  He  wouldn't  do  anything  but  rest  if  I'd  let 
him.  He  needs  exercise  to  keep  him  healthy.  My,  I  believe 
some  lemonade  would  taste  good  if  it  was  sweet. 

MRS.  L.     I'll  get  it  for  you.     Don't  ask  him  again. 

MRS.  M.  Thank  you,  but  you  needn't  worry  about  Harry. 
He  won't  hurt  himself.  (MR.  M.  returns.} 

MR.  M.  The  train  will  be  here  in  thirty  minutes.  It's  two- 
forty  now. 

MRS.  M.  I  wish  I  had  some  chocolates.  I'm  dying  for 
some. 

MR.  M.     I  suppose  you'll  have  to  have  them  then.     (Starts 

off-} 

MRS.  M.  (calling.}     I  want  some  more  lemonade  too,  Harry. 

MRS.  L.  You're  making  a  slave  of  your  husband,  don't 
you  know  it?  He'll  wear  out  waiting  on  ye. 

MRS.  M.  (laughing}.  A  slave — wear  out — what  are  you 
talking  about  ? 

MRS.  L.  And  you'll  die  sooner  than  you  ought  to  if  you 
don't  stir  yourself  a  little. 

(MRS.  M.  looks  disgusted  and  takes  another  seat.  MR.  M. 
returns  with  candy  and  lemonade,  MRS.  M.  eats  a  choco- 
late and  sips  lemonade.} 


SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT  IJ 

MRS.  M.  (shivering).  Oh,  Harry,  it's  so  sour.  You'll  have 
to  drink  this  glass,  too. 

MR.  M.     Give  it  to  me  then.     (Takes  glass  and  drinks.*) 

MRS.  M.  When  we  get  home  I'll  make  some  lemonade 
that's  right.  Now  move  our  baggage  over  here,  Harry.  That 
woman  over  there  is  just  horrid  and  I  won't  sit  by  her  any 
longer. 

MR.  M.     There's  no  hurry  about  it. 

MRS.  M.  But  what  if  the  train  should  come  before  we  are 
ready? 

MR.  M.     Well,  I'll  move  the  things  in  a  minute. 

MRS.  M.     Bring  them  now,  Harry.     I  can't  rest  till  you  do. 

MR.  M.  And  I  suppose  I  can't  either.  (Moves  baggage  and 
starts  off.} 

MRS.  M.     Now  don't  go  away  again. 

MR.  M.     I  must  have  a  cigar. 

MRS.  M.     No  you  mustn't.     You  had  one  not  long  ago. 

MR.  M.  I  had  one  this  morning  but  I  suppose  that  will 
have  to  do. 

MRS.  M.  Now  sit  down,  hold  this  box  in  your  lap  and  take 
hold  of  this  grip  so  you'll  be  ready  to  start  the  minute  the  train 
comes.  And  here's  my  wrap  and  umbrella.  Where's  the  box 
with  my  new  hat  in  it  ?  I  do  believe  you  are  sitting  on  it, 
Harry. 

MR.  M.  No,  it's  on  the  floor  right  beside  me.  I  can't  for- 
get it. 

MRS.  M.  If  you  should  I  couldn't  go  to  the  opera  to-mor- 
row night.  Are  you  sure  you  won't  forget  it,  Harry  ? 

MR.  M.  If  I  do  it  won't  be  your  fault.  (Sound  of  arriv- 
ing train.  DEPOT  MASTER  calls  train.) 

MRS.  M.  Oh,  dear,  I'm  so  afraid  we'll  leave  something. 
(Takes  hold  of  his  arm.)  \JExeunt. 

Enter  two  or  three  passengers  who  walk  through  the 
waiting  room  and  exeunt  at  street  entrance.  At  same 
entrance  enter  BRIDE  and  GROOM,  arm  in  arm.  GROOM 
seats  BRIDE  and  goes  to  ticket  office. 

GROOM.  Do  you  make  special  rates  to  brides  and  grooms  ? 

AGENT.  No,  sir. 

GROOM.  What's  the  fare  to  New  York  for  two  ? 

AGENT.  Thirty  dollars. 

GROOM.  Gee  whiz  !     It  costs  to  take  a  weddin'  tower,  don't 

it?     Guess  we  won't  go  further'n  Albany.     Ain't  ray  wife 


1 8  SCENES   IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

handsome  ?  That's  her  over  there.  We's  married  about  two 
hours  ago  and  drove  like  Jehu  to  get  here.  You  see  we  live 
about  five  miles  out  in  the  country.  Be  you  married  and  did 
you  take  a  tower  ? 

AGENT.     Do  you  want  two  tickets  for  Albany  ? 

GROOM.  Why,  yes,  I  guess  we  might  as  well.  We've 
started  for  somewhere  and  I  don't  know's  it  makes  much  dif- 
ference where,  just  so  the  money  holds  out. 

(Lays  down  money  and  takes  tickets.  Sits  down  by  BRIDE 
and  shells  peanuts  for  her.  She  leans  her  head  on  his 
shoulder  and  eats  them.') 

BRIDE.     Didn't  we  fool  'em  slick,  though,  gettin'  away? 
.     GROOM.     Fine,  couldn't  have  been  slicker.     Rob  and  Dick 
said  we  couldn't  get  away  without  their  knowin'  it,  but  we 
give'm  the  slip  all  right. 

Enter  ROSY,  MOLLY,  ROB,  and  DICK  at  street  entrance. 
One  of  the  girls  points  to  BRIDE  and  GROOM.  They  ad- 
vance to  where  they  are  sitting  and  take  them  unawares. 

ROB.  Ha,  ha,  here  you  be  havin'  a  cozy  time  all  to  your- 
self. 

DICK.  You  didn't  get  off  so  slick  after  all.  You  can't  fool 
us. 

ROB.  You'll  have  to  treat,  old  boy,  and  the  sooner  the  bet- 
ter. We'll  look  after  the  bride. 

DICK.  Number  one  cigars  for  us  and  number  one  chocolates 
for  the  girls,  remember. 

GROOM  (aside}.  Guess  I'll  have  to  change  them  tickets  for 
Syracuse.  I'm  'fraid  the  money  won't  hold  out.  (GROOM  goes 
to  candy  stand.  MOLLY  slyly  fastens  old  shoes  onto  BRIDE 
and  GROOM'S  grip.*) 

ROSY.     When  will  you  be  home,  Marthy  ? 

BRIDE.  We  haven't  set  any  time  yet.  Charley  says  when 
the  money  runs  out.  How  did  you  know  we's  here? 

DICK.  Oh,  we  know  everything.  Didn't  have  a  bit  of 
trouble  finding  you. 

ROSY.  Billy  Brown  told  Belle  Smith  if  you  are  gone  very 
long  you'll  lose  your  place  in  the  choir. 

BRIDE.  It's  none  of  Billy  Brown's  business  if  we  are  gone 
six  weeks.  He'd  find  he'd  got  a  job  on  hand  if  he  tried  to 
put  me  out. 


SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT  19 

ROB.     That's  right,  Marthy,  and  we'll  stand  by  you. 

DICK.  Billy's  mad  'cause  you  didn't  invite  him  to  your 
weddin'.  That's  where  the  rub  is. 

MOLLY.  Mrs.  Brown  says  she'll  never  come  to  see  ye.  She 
will,  though.  She  asked  me  forty  questions  about  the  weddin' 
and  said  she  was  goin'  over  in  the  inornin'  to  see  your  ma  'bout 
the  next  sewin'  society. 

BRIDE.  Don't  you  worry,  ma  knows  her.  She  won't  find 
out  anything. 

(GROOM  returns.     They  eat  candy  and  talk  more  about  the 
wedding.} 

ROB.  Well,  we  must  be  going.  Sorry  we  can't  stay  and 
see  you  off. 

DICK.  Hope  you  won't  get  to  quarreling  before  your  honey- 
moon is  over.  A  heap  of  good  luck  to  ye. 

[All  throw  rice  and  exeunt  with  many  good-byes. 

GROOM  (shaking  off  rice).  Gee  whiz  !  How  the  stuff 
pricks  a  feller's  neck. 

BRIDE.  What  a  shame  they  found  us.  Nobody'd  had  any 
idee  we're  just  married  if  it  hadn't  been  for  this  rice.  (Brushes 
rice  off  hat ;  to  MRS.  L.)  You  wouldn't  knowed  it,  would 
ye  ? 

MRS.  L.     Oh,  certainly  not.     I'm  not  quite  sure  of  it  yet. 

GROOM  (indignantly}.  You  ain't !  Well,  we  be  married. 
Here's  the  license  right  in  my  coat  pocket.  (Takes  it  out  and 
shows  it  to  her.}  We  ain't  'loping  nor  pretending  to  be  what 
we  ain't.  We're  goin'  to  Albany  on  the  next  train,  ain't  we, 
little  wifey  ?  (Puts  his  arm  around  BRIDE.) 

BRIDE  (with  a  very  sweet  smile").     Yes,  husband. 

GROOM.     Be  you  convinced  now,  madam  ? 

MRS.  L.     Fully,  sir,  fully. 

GROOM.  If  you  ain't  I'll  send  you  a  copy  of  the  Brierville 
News.  The  preacher's  goin'  to  write  up  the  weddin'  in  fine 
shape,  tellin'  all  about  the  weddin'  clothes  we  had  on,  how 
many  presents  we  got,  what  they  was  and  who  they's  from. 
We're  going  to  buy  twenty-five  copies  to  send  to  our 
friends. 

MRS.  L.  Suppose  you  send  me  a  copy  anyway.  (DEPOT 
MASTER  calls  train.} 

GROOM.     That's  our  train,  Marthy. 

\They  pick  up  baggage  and  exeunt. 


2O  SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

Enter  man  and  two  children  at  street  entrance.     Man  buys 
tickets  and  hands  them  to  the  girl. 

FATHER.  Keep  bub  off  the  track  and  don't  let  him  get  into 
mischief.  Don't  forget  your  bundles.  Your  train  goes  at  four 
o'clock.  Good-bye.  [Exit  FATHER. 

(  Children  take  seats.') 

MRS.  L.     Goin'  somewhere,  sissy? 

CASSY.     Yessum,  goin'  to  visit  Aunt  Maggie. 

JUPITER.     I'm  goin'  too. 

MRS.  L.     Of  course  you  be,  bubby.     What's  your  name? 

CASSY.  Hisn's  Jupiter  and  mine's  Cassiopea.  They  call 
us  Gassy  and  Jupy  for  short. 

MRS.  L.     Got  any  brothers  or  sisters? 

CASSY.  A  whole  lot  of  'em.  (BOOTBLACK  listens  to  conver- 
sation.) 

MRS.  L.     What's  their  names  ? 

CASSY.  Pa  named  us  all  after  the  stars.  Mars,  he's  four- 
teen— they  don't  nickname  him.  Mercury,  he's  twelve. 
When  he's  bad  pa  calls  him  a  reg'lar  blue  pill.  I'm  eleven 
and  Jupy's  seven.  The  twins  are  ten.  Their  names  is  Regu- 
lus  and  Venus.  We  call  'em  Gus  and  Veny.  Saturn,  he's  five, 
Neptune's  three  and  the  baby's  a  year  old.  Pa  said  he  was  the 
best  of  the  whole  lot,  so  he  named  him  Orion. 

MRS.  L.  I  guess  your  pa  must  be  a  pretty  smart  man  and 
you  children  a  lot  of  little  shiners.  Guess  you  had  a  bran'  new 
dress  made  to  go  visitin'  in,  didn't  you  ? 

CASSY.  Yessum,  and  a  new  sacque,  too.  Aunt  Maggie 
wrote  that  white  sacques  was  all  the  style  for  little  girls,  so  ma 
made  me  one  out  of  a  flour  sack  and  I  put  the  trimmin's  on  it 
myself.  (BOOTBLACK  sings  the  first  line  of  "  Thoti  Art  so  Like 
a  flower" — adding  the  word  sack.)  Ma  said  if  I  didn't  tell 
anybody  folks  would  think  it  was  bought  at  the  store.  The 
missionary  society  give  me  my  hat. 

MRS.  L.   (to  JUPITER).     Did  they  give  you  a  hat,  too  ? 

CASSY.  No,  ma  made  one  out  of  pa's  for  Jupy.  It's  plenty 
big  enough  for  him,  but  ma  says  he'll  grow  to  it. 

MRS.  L.  I  suppose  you'll  have  a  nice  time  while  you  are 
out  to  Aunt  Maggie's. 

CASSY.  Maybe.  Aunt  Maggie  don't  like  children,  but  me 
an'  Jupy  are  goin'  to  make  her  like  us.  Jupy's  takin'  her  a 
mud-turtle  and  I'm  takin'  her  a  holder  I  made  all  myself. 


SCENES   IN    THE   UNION   DEPOT  21 

JUPITER.  Don't  you  think  she  will  like  me  when  I  give  her 
the  mud -turtle? 

MRS.  L.  I'm  sure  she  will,  bubby.  Do  you  go  to  Sunday- 
school  ? 

GASSY.  I  do,  but  Jupy  don't.  He  took  bees  once  with  him 
in  a  box  an'  they  got  out  an'  stung  the  superintendent  right  on 
the  nose.  .  He  called  Jupy  a  wicked  little  star  an'  said  if  he 
didn't  do  better  he'd  make  him  see  a  whole  lot  of  stars.  One 
other  time  he  caught  a  mouse  in  a  box  an'  took  it  to  Miss  Good- 
well.  She's  Jupy's  Sunday-school  teacher.  Do  you  know 
her  ?  She  looks  like  you. 

JUPITER.     She's  awfully  homely. 

MRS.  L.     Well,  what  about  the  mouse? 

GASSY.  When  Miss  Goodwell  opened  the  box  she  screamed 
awful,  an'  the  next  day  the  preacher  called  an'  told  ma  to  keep 
Jupy  at  home  till  he  was  a  little  older.  But  he's  goin'  again 
when  we  get  home. 

JUPITER.     You  wouldn't  scream  at  a  mouse,  would  you? 

MRS.  L.     No — yes — well,  maybe  not. 

JUPITER.  Mice  don't  hurt  folks.  You  jest  ought  to  see 
Sinus  eat  'em. 

MRS.  L.     Whose  Sirius  ? 

GASSY.  He's  Jupy's  dog.  Pa  named  him  after  the  dog- 
star. 

MRS.  L.  How  long  be  you  goin'  to  stay  at  your  Aunt  Mag- 
gie's? 

GASSY.     Ma  said  to  stay  till  she  sent  us  home. 

MRS.  L.     What  train  be  you  goin'  on  ? 

GASSY.     Pa  said  it  was  the  four  o'clock. 

MRS.  L.  That's  the  one  I'm  goin'  to  take.  I've  been 
waitin'  for  it  ever  sence  eight  o'clock  this  morning. 

GASSY.     Oh,  my,  you  must  have  seen  a  lot  of  folks. 

MRS.  L.  Yes  I  have,  more'n  I've  seen  in  many  a  day.  It's 
ben  as  good  as  a  circus. 

JUPITER.  I  went  to  a  circus  once.  I  crawled  in  under  the 
tent  and  I  saw  a  boa- subtracter.  Did  you  ever  see  one? 

GASSY.     He  means  a  boa-constrictor. 

JUPITER.     Where  do  you  live? 

MRS.  L.     At  Coffinbury. 

JUPITER.     Do  they  bury  coffins  there  ? 

GASSY.     Don't  ask  so  many  questions,  Jupy. 

JUPITER.  Why  not?  Do  they  have  mud-turtles  an'  fire- 
crackers an'  little  boys  where  you  live  ? 


22  SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

MRS.  L.     Lots  of  'errij  bubby. 

JUPITER.     Have  you  got  any? 

MRS.  L.  There's  plenty  of  mud-turtles  around  but  I  hain't 
any  firecrackers  or  little  boys.  (DEPOT  MASTER  calls  train.'} 
There's  our  train.  Stay  close  to  me  and  I'll  look  after  you. 

[Exeunt. 

(Sound  of  departing  train.  No  passengers  left  in  depot. 
Enter  COLLEGE  QUARTETTE,  at  street  entrance.} 

FIRST  TENOR.  Well,  boys,  it  looks  as  if  we've  got  it  to  our- 
selves. 

BASS.     For  five  minutes,  perhaps. 

SECOND  TENOR.  Better  try  one  or  two  of  our  songs,  hadn't 
we? 

BARITONE.  We  need  to  bad  enough,  and  we'll  have  time, 
for  our  train  is  twenty  minutes  late. 

BASS  (to  FIRST  TENOR).     Buy  our  tickets  first. 

FIRST  TENOR.  All  right.  (Buys  tickets, ,)  Come  on,  boys, 
let's  try  our  songs  now.  (They  group  themselves  and  sing  two 
pieces.} 

BASS.     It's  too  stuffy  in  here.     Let's  wait  outside. 

BARITONE.     Our  train  must  be  most  here  by  this  time. 

[Exeunt. 

Enter  MR.  WHITE  and  LILY.      They  go  to  ticket  window. 

MR.  WHITE  (to  AGENT).  How  is  you?  I'm  Mr.  White 
and  this  is  Miss  Lily.  (She  makes  a  sweeping  bow.}  We've 
come  to  meet  Miss  'Lizah.  How  long  'fore  de  train'll  be 
heah  ? 

AGENT.     Three  minutes. 

LILY.     What  if  'Lizah  don't  come? 

MR.  W.     Nevah  you  feah.     'Lizah  won't  miss  de  weddin'. 

LILY.  She  said  she  was  goin'  to  wear  her  party  dress  to 
travel  in  so  she'll  look  fine.  'Xpect  you  an'  she'll  be  steppin' 
off  next. 

MR.  W.     'Xpect  we  will.     'Lizah's  an  angel,  shuah  she  is. 

(Sound  of  arriving  train.  Enter  ELIZA.  She  rushes  into 
LILY'S  arms.  They  kiss.  MR.  W.  puts  hand  on  heart 
and  casts  side  glances  at  them.} 

LILY.  You  look  fine,  honey  deah.  Where  did  you  get  that 
lovely  hat  ? 


SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT  23 

ELIZA.     At  {Local  milliner.') 

Enter  young  colored  man  at  street  entrance. 

MR.  W.  Hello,  Gawge,  how  is  you  ?  ( They  shake  hands. 
MR.  W.  introduces  his  friend  to  LILY  and  ELIZA.) 

GEORGE.     Gwine  to  de  weddin',  I  s'pose. 

MR.  W.     Shuah,  we'll  all  be  dere. 

GEORGE.     Gwine  to  have  a  big  time,  I  heah. 

MR.  W.  Shuah  dey  is.  Brudder  Samson  an*  Brudder 
Zion's  gwine  to  do  de  jinin',  Miss  Lily's  gwine  to  play  de  wed- 
din'  march  an'  me  an'  'Lizah's  gwine  to  stan'  up  wid  'em.  (Boy 
hands  dispatch  to  MR.  W.  MR.  W.  reads  aloud.)  "Sick  an' 
can't  come.  Am  sendin'  flowahs  on  de  Numbah  Foah." 
Guess  we'd  better  wait  for  'em,  den  dey'll  be  shuah  to  have 
'em.  If  you's  in  no  hurry,  Gawge,  wait  wid  us.  (All  take 
seats.) 

Enter  HAROLD  and  FLOSSIE. 

FLOSSIE.  I  hope  we  won't  see  any  one  we  know.  Do  you 
think  they'll  find  us,  Harold  ? 

HAROLD.  What  if  they  do?  I'll  protect  you,  Flossie.  I'll 
fight  for  you.  You  sit  down  here  while  I  buy  our  tickets.  (To 
AGENT.)  Two  tickets  for  Chicago.  (Puts  tickets  in  pocket 
and  takes  seat  by  FLOSSIE.) 

FLOSSIE.  Let's  walk  on  the  platform.  I'm  afraid  papa  and 
mama  will  be  walking  in  on  us. 

HAROLD.  All  right.  (As  FLOSSIE  rises  her  handkerchief 
drops  to  the  floor.')  \_Exeunt. 

LILY.     Dem's  two  runaways,  shuah. 

MR.  W.  Don't  wonder  he  wants  her.  She's  sweet's  an 
angel. 

GEORGE.     Hope  de  old  folks  won't  find  'em. 

Enter  MR.  and  MRS.  LINTON. 

MRS.  LINTON  (wringing  her  hands).  Oh,  William,  do  you 
think  we'll  find  them?  To  think  our  Flossie  should  do  such 
a  thing. 

MR.  LINTON.  I'll  teach  that  young  upstart  a  thing  or  two 
once  I  lay  hands  on  him.  I'll  see  if  the  ticket  agent  knows 
anything  about  them.  (To  AGENT.)  Have  you  seen  a  pretty 
girl  around  here  with  a  fellow  that  looks  as  if  he  didn't  know 
much?  (MRS.  L.  walks  the  floor  in  great  distress.} 


24  SCENES    IN    THE    UNION    DEPOT 

AGENT.     A  young  fellow  bought  two  tickets  for  Chicago 
for  train  Number  Four.     There  was  a  young  girl  with  him. 
MR.  L.     Then  give  me  two  tickets  for  Chicago. 

(HAROLD  and  FLOSSIE  start  to  r center,  but  on  seeing  MR.  and 
MRS.  L.  they  quickly  draw  back.  MRS.  L.  finds  handker- 
chief and  sees  FLOSSIE'S  name.) 

MRS.  L.  Oh,  William,  here's  Flossie's  handkerchief.  She's 
been  here,  but  where  do  you  suppose  she  is  now  ? 

MR.  L.  Don't  worry.  We'll  soon  find  them.  They  bought 
tickets  for  Chicago  and  we'll  follow  them. 

MRS.  L.     Foolish  children  !     Won't  I  give  Flossie  a  scolding. 

(Sound  of  arriving  train.  DEPOT  MASTER  calls  train. 
Exeunt  MR.  and  MRS.  L.  and  MR.  W.  MR.  W.  returns 
with  box.  A  few  passengers  enter  and  take  seats. 

MR.  W.  Dey  come,  you  see.  'Xpect  dey's  mighty  fine. 
Brudder  Zion's  on  de  way.  I  see  him  gettin'  in  de  'bus.  We 
better  take  de  flowahs  right  over. 

\_The  two  couples  lock  arms  and  exeunt. 

Enter  HAROLD  and  FLOSSIE. 

FLOSSIE.     Where  do  you  suppose  they  are  by  this  time  ? 

HAROLD.  I  saw  them  getting  on  the  train,  Flossie,  and  that's 
why  I  backed  out. 

FLOSSIE.     Oh,  Harold,  what  if  there  should  be  a  wreck  ! 

HAROLD.  Don't  worry,  Flossie.  When  they  see  we're  not 
on  they'll  get  off  and  take  the  next  train  back. 

FLOSSIE.  All  right.  It's  getting  late  and  I'm  most  starved. 
I  won't  ever  elope  again.  \_Exeunt. 

(A  few  passengers  settle  themselves  for  the  night,  arranging 
pillows  out  of  bundles,  wraps,  etc.  As  soon  as  they  are 
asleep  a  train  arrives  and  COLLEGE  QUARTETTE  enters.} 

FIRST  TENOR.     It's  pretty  late,  boys,  to  be  getting  home. 
BASS  (yawning).     Shan't  feel  much  like  studying  to-morrow. 
BARITONE.     I'm  glad  we  haven't  any  engagements  for  to- 
morrow night. 

(FiRST  TENOR  begins  humming  a  good-night  song,  the  others 
Join  in  and  they  sing  it  through.) 

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HIGBEE  OF  HARVARD 

A  COMEDY-DRAMA  IN  THREE  ACTS 


Five  males,  four  females.  Modern  costumes ;  scenes,  two  interiors  and 
MI  exterior  —  the  latter  may  be  played  as  well  in  an  interior,  if  preferred. 
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CHARACTERS 

WATSON  W.  HIGBEE,  from  Montana.  HIGGINS,  the  butler. 

A    good  fetlmo   with   millions,   who  Eccentric  Character. 

knows  neither  fear  nnr  grammar.  NANCY  WlTHROW,  the   senator's 

Character  Lead.  daughter.  An  up-to-date,  level-headed 

HON.  V.  D.  WITHROW,  a  bhie-blooded  girl.                            Juvenile  Lead. 

ex-senator  with  a  tall  family  tree  and  MADGE  CUMMrSGS,/)-om  Montana    A 

a  short  bank  account.  First  Old  Man.  quiet  sort  with  temper  when  needed. 

LORIN  HIGBEE,  son  of  Watson.   Cham-  Ingenue  Lead. 

pion  athlete  of  Harvard.    In  love  with  MRS.  BALLOtT,  the  senator's  sister  from 

Madge.                       Juvenile  Lead.  New  York,  who  meets  her  second  affin- 

THEODORE   DALRYMPLE,    called  ity  at  the  eleventh  hour.        Comedy. 

"  Ted."      Worked   his   way   through  MRS.  MALVINA  MEDDIGREW,  origi- 

Harvard,    In  love  with  Nancy.  nallyfrom  Missouri.   Must  always  be 

Comedy  Lead.  shown.                                  Comedy. 

SYNOPSIS 

ACT  I. — The  lawn  at  Withrow's.  A  June  afternoon.  Planning  a  dou- 
ble marriage. 

ACT  II. — Parlor  at  Withrow's.  In  a  tangle.  Cupid's  arrows  go  wrong, 
and  everything  follows.  Good-by,  and  a  roaring  climax. 

ACT  III.— In  Montana,  five  months  later.  Hard  lines.  "  Thanksgiving 
to-morrow,  and  no  chance  to  steal  a  turkey."  The  unexpected  happens. 
Sudden  wealth,  "A  Four-decker  weddiu'  in  a  couple  or  three  days." 


THE  OTHER  WOMAN 

A  SKETCH  IN  ONE  ACT 


By  Ellis  Kingsley 

\  interior  ;  costumes 
minended.    Very  dn 

Price,  15  cents 


Two  females.  Scene,  an  interior  ;  costumes  modern.  A  clever  and  re- 
fined sketch,  strongly  recommended.  Very  dramatic.  Plays  twenty  min, 
utes. 


New  Entertainments 


OUR    CHURCH    FAIR 

A  Farcical  Entertainment  in  Two  Acts 
By  Jessie  A.  Kelley 

Twelve  females.  Costumes  modern ;  scenery  unimportant.  Plays  an 
hour  and  a  quarter.  A  humorous  picture  of  the  planning  of  the  annual 
church  fair  by  the  ladies  of  the  sewing  circle.  Full  of  local  hits  and 
general  human  nature,  and  a  sure  laugh- producer  in  any  community. 
Can  be  recommended. 

Price,  25  cents 

CHARACTERS 

MRS.  ROBERTS,  who  wants  to  be  MRS.  LAWSON,  plump. 

president.  MRS.  BROWN,  anxious  to  get  new 
MRS.  HENRY,  young,  giddy,  church  attendants. 

fond  of  novels.  MRS.  ADDISON,  very  inquisitive, 

MRS.  JACKSON,  the  president  of  MRS.  RIDGELY,  sensitive. 

the  society.  MRS.  OTIS,  on  the  dinner  com- 
MRS.  BRETT,  on  the  dinner  com-  mittee. 

mittee.  MRS.  THOMPSON,  decidedly  close. 

MRS.  LEWIS,  the  minister's  wife.  MRS.  DREW,y'#.r/  married. 

THE    RIVAL    CHOIRS 

An  Entertainment  in  One  Scene 

By  Sherman  F.  Johnson 

Seven  males,  four  females.  Costumes  eccentric ;  scenery  unimportant. 
Plays  one  hour.  A  novelty  in  musical  entertainments,  introducing  the 
old  choir  and  the  new  in  competition.  A  novel  setting  for  a  concert, 
offering  an  interesting  contrast  between  the  old  music  and  the  new.  Lots 
of  incidental  fun,  character  and  human  nature.  Sure  to  please.  Origi- 
nally produced  in  Meriden,  Conn. 

Price,  25  cents 

A    THIEF    IN    THE    HOUSE 
A  Comedy  in  One  Act 

By  R.  M.  Robinson 

Six  males,  one  playing  a  female  character  (colored).  Costumes  modern ; 
scenery,  an  interior.  Plays  forty-five  minutes.  A  first-class  play  for  male 
characters  only,  of  strong  dramatic  interest  with  plenty  of  comedy.  A  play 
that  can  be  recommended,  in  spite  of  its  lack  of  female  characters,  to  any 
audience. 

Price,  25  cents 


New  Farces   and  Comedies 

GADSBY'S     GIRLS 
A  Farce  in  Three  Acts 

£y  Bertha  Currier  Porter 

Five  males,  four  females.  Costumes  modern  ;  scenery,  an  exterior  and 
an  interior.  Plays  an  hour  and  a  half.  An  exceptionally  bright  and 
vivacious  little  piece,  full  of  action.  The  irrepressible  Gadsby's  adven- 
tures with  the  fiancees  of  three  of  his  friends  are  full  of  interest  and  fun. 
All  the  parts  good.  Well  suited  for  High  School  performance. 
Price,  25  cents 

CHARACTERS 

RICHARD  STANLEY,  a  lawyer. 

JOSEPH  PARKER,  a  clerk. 

MORRIS  YOUNG,  a  medical  student. 

STEVE,  the  farm  boy.      Friendly,  but  not  loquacious. 

MABEL  PARKINS,  frivolous  and  dressy  ;  engaged  to  Richard. 

ESTHER  CARROLL,  botanical  and  birdy  ;  engaged  to  Joseph. 

GRACE  CH ESTER,  just  girl;  engaged  to  Morris. 

MRS.  DODGE,  who  takes  boarders. 

MAXIMILIAN  HUNNEWELL  GADSBY,  a  butterfly. 

THE  GIRL  WHO  PAID  THE  BILLS 

A  Comedy  in  One  Act 

By  Nina  Rhoades 

Two  males,  four  females.  Costumes  modern  ;  scene,  an  easy  interior. 
Plays  thirty-five  minutes.  A  clever  piece  of  high  class,  admirably  written 
and  suited  to  the  best  taste.  A  pretty  little  love  story,  wholesome  and  un 
sentimental  in  tone.  Well  recommended. 

Price,  15  cents 

THE  FIFTH  COMMANDMENT 
A  Play  in  One  Act 

By  Willis  Steell 

Three  males,  one  female.  Costumes  modern ;  scene,  an  interior. 
Plays  twenty  minutes.  An  easy  piece  of  strong  dramatic  interest,  origi- 
nally produced  in  Vaudeville  by  Julius  Steger.  Free  to  amateurs;  royalty 
required  for  professional  performance. 

Price,  15  cents 


New  Plays 
MR.  EASYMAN'S  NIECE 

A  Farcical  Comedy  in  Four  Acts 

By  Belle  Marshall  Locke 

Six  males,  four  females.  Costumes  modern  ;  scenery,  two  interiors  and 
one  easy  exterior  that  may  be  played  indoors  if  desired.  Plays  a  full  even- 
ing. A  clever  and  vivacious  play,  full  of  fun  and  action.  Mr.  Easyman's 
fad  of  spiritualism  leads  him  into  a  difficulty  that  is  a  source  of  endless 
amusement  to  the  audience.  Irish  and  old  maid  comedy  parts.  Can  be 
recommended. 

Price,  25  cents 

CHARACTERS 

MR.  STEPHEN  EASYMAN,  a  wealthy  MR.  SHARPE,  a  detective. 

broker.  Miss  JUDITH  CARROLL,  a  maiden 

MR.  CAREW  CARLTON, his  nephew.       aunt. 

MR.  TOM  ASHLEIGH;  MRS.  EASYMAN,  }     her 

JACKSON,  a  servant.  Miss  BESSIE  CARROL;.,  \  nieces. 

MICHAEL  FLYNN.  DESDEMONA,  the  ghost. 

A  PAIR  OF  BURGLARS 

By  Byron  P.  Glenn 

Two  males,  two  females.  One  act.  Costumes  modern ;  scenery,  an 
easy  interior.  Plays  half  an  hour.  A  brisk  little  curtain  raiser  of  the 
"  vaudeville  "  type,  moving  all  the  time.  Easy  and  effective ;  all  the  parts 
young  people  and  well-dressed.  Strongly  recommended. 

Price,  15  cents 

DANE'S  DRESS-SUIT  CASE 

By  Robert  C.  V.  Meyers 

Two  males,  one  female.  One  act.  Costumes  modern ;  scene,  an  easy 
interior.  Plays  fifteen  minutes.  An  excellent  short  play  to  fill  out  a  bill 
or  to  fill  in  an  intermission.  All  action  and  lots  of  fun.  All  parts  young 
and  well-dressed. 

Price,  if  cents 


Novelties 
HOW  THE  CLUB  WAS  FORMED 

An  Entertainment  in  Three  Scenes 

By  Mrs.  O.  W.  Gleason 

Author  of  "How  the  Story  Grew"  "A  Modern 

Sewing  Society,"  etc. 

Eighteen  females.  Costumes  modern ;  scenery  unimportant.  Plays 
one  and  a  half  hours.  A  humorous  skit  on  the  Woman's  Club  suited  for 
performance  by  either  young  or  middle-aged  women.  Full  of  points  and 
chances  for  local  hits  and  thus  a  sure  laugh-maker.  Parts  well  dis- 
tributed; can  be  recommended. 

Price,  15  cents 

A  MOTHERS'  MEETING 

An  Entertainment  in  One  Scene 

By  Arlo  Bates 

Author  of  "A  Business  Meeting"  "A  Gentle  Jury,"  "An 
Interrupted  Proposal"  "Her  Deaf  Ear  "  etc. 

Ten  females.  Costumes  modern ;  scenery  unnecessary.  Plays  thirty 
minutes.  A  good-humored  and  amusing  satire  of  this  institution  suited 
for  performance  by  middle-aged  as  well  as  young  ladies.  Can  be  made 
very  amusing  by  the  introduction  of  local  p'oints,  as  in  all  such  entertain- 
ments. All  the  parts  are  good  and  of  nearly  equal  opportunity.  Well 
recommended. 

Price,  15  cents 

MAIDS  OF  ALL  NATIONS 

An  Entertainment  in  One  Scene 
By  Maude  Burbank 

Author  off(A  Pan  of  Fudge,"  etc. 

Fifteen  females,  one  male.  Costumes  of  the  nations ;  scene,  the  usual 
tableau  arrangements.  A  pleasant  variation  of  the  "  Bachelor's  Reverie  " 
introducing  fifteen  pretty  girls  in  the  costumes  of  as  many  nations.  Plays 
thirty  minutes.  Recommended  for  its  simplicity  and  picturesqueness.  Its 
one  male  character  may  speak  or  not,  as  preferred,  and  may  be  played  by 
a  girl  if  desired. 

Price,  75  cents 


New  Plays 


THE  SISTERHOOD  OF  BRIDGET 
A  Farce  in  Three  Acts 

By  Robert  Elwin  Ford 

Seven  males,  six  females.  Costumes  modern ;  scenery,  easy  interiors. 
Plays  two  hours.  An  easy,  effective  and  very  humorous  piece  turning 
upon  the  always  interesting  servant-girl  question.  A  very  unusual  num- 
ber of  comedy  parts;  all  the  parts  good.  Easy  to  get  up  and  well  rec- 
ommended. 

Price,  25  cents 

CHARACTERS 

EDWARD  MASON,  a  wealthy  stock-  MRS.  MASON,  socialist  and  <es- 

broker.  thete. 

LORD    CURTON,  in  search    of  a  ELEANOR    MASON,    her   daugh- 

wife  with  money.  ter. 

.WARD    LEIGHTON,    lieutenant  of  BRIDGET,  the  cook. 

the  i~6th  Regiment.  JOSIE    RILEY,   )   ,             . , 

MiKEMcSHANE,  driver  of  a  milk-  EMMA  HONE,  j 

cart.  MARY  MACRAE,  Jimmy's  sister. 

JIMMY    MACRAE,  page    at    Mr.  TIMOTHY  ROUKE,  house  painter. 

Mason's.  WILLIAM,  butler  at  Mr.  Mason's. 

THE  ALL-AMERICA  ELEVEN 

By  M.  N.  Beebe 

Twelve  males.  Costumes  modern ;  scenery  unnecessary.  Plays  fifteen 
minutes.  An  up-to-date  and  popular  entertainment  for  boys  in  one  scene, 
sure  to  please  both  the  boys  and  the  audience.  Characters :  Football  Boy, 
Baseball  Boy,  Tennis  Boy,  Office  Boy,  Messenger  Boy,  Country  Boy, 
Chinese  Boy,  Jewish  Boy,  Irish  Boy,  Indian  Boy,  Negro  Boy  and  Trainer. 
Price,  15  cents 

TAKING  THE  THIRD  DEGREE 
IN  THE  GRANGE 

By  A.  C.  Daniels 

Seventeen  males.     Costumes  eccentric  ;  scenery  unnecessary.    Plays  ten 
minutes.     A  burlesque  initiation  in  one  act,  especially  adapted  for  a  Grange 
entertainment.     Very  simple,  very  clean  and  wholly  lacking  in  horse-play 
and  acrobatics.     Well  suited  for  its  purpose. 
Price,  15  cents 


A    000512642    0 

' 

$rice,  50  Centg 


THE  MAGISTRATE    Farce  in  'rhTee  Acts-    Twelve  males,  four 
females.    Costumes,  modern  ;   scenery,  all 
interior.    Plays  two  hours  and  a  half. 

THE  NOTORIOUS  MRS.  EBBSMITP  TDrama  T  JT  Af 

Kiji1"  males,  five  females. 
Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  all  interiors     PI;  ys  s,  lull  evening. 

THE  PROFLIGATE    playinFourAct"s-  ^even  males,  five  females. 
Scenery,  three  interiors,  rather  elaborate  ; 
costumes,  modern.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

THE  SCHOOLMISTRESS  Farce  in  Three  Acts-  Niue  males-  seven 

females.  Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery, 
three  interiors.    Plays  a  full  evening. 


THE  SECOND  MRS.  TANOUERAY  **?**'*<«**«*.• 

males,  five  females.     Cos- 
tumes, modern  ;  scenery,  three  interiors.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

SWEET  LAVENDER    Comedv  in  Three  Acts.    Seven  males,  four 
females.    Scene,  a  single  interior  ;  costumes  , 
modern.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

THF  TIMFS    Cometiy  in  Four  Acts.    Six  males,  seven  females. 
Scene,  a  single  interior  ;  costumes,  modern.    Plays  a 
full  evening. 

THE  WEAKER  SEX    Comedy  in  Three  Acts-    Ejght  males,  eight 
females.     Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  two 
Interiors.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

A  WIFF  WITHOUT  A  SMII  F    Comedy  in   Three  'Acts.     Five 

iiuui  Aoimuc  maleg)  four  fema]es   Costumes> 

modern  ;  scene,  a  single  interior.    Plays  a  full  evening. 


Sent  prepaid  on  receipt  of  price  by 

Walter  1^  QBafeer  a  Company 

No.  5  Hamilton  Place,  Boston,  Massachusetts 


decent  popular 


THE  AWAKENING 


THE  FRUITS  OF  ENLIGHTENMENT 


HIS  EXCELLENCY  THE  GOVERNOR 


AN  IDEAL  HUSBAND 


Play  in  Four  Acts.    By  C.  H.  CHA 
Four  males,  >ix  females.    Scenery,  not  dim- 
cult,  chiefly   interiors ;    costumes,  modern.     Plays  a  full  evening. 
Price,  50  Cents. 

Comedy   in   Four   Acts. 

ByL.  r  \\enty- 

one  males,  eleven  femal. •- 

tumes,  modern.     Plays  a  full  evening.     Recommended  for  reading 
clubs.     Price,  25  Cents. 

Farce  in  Three  Acts.   By 

li.    M.A  KSHALI, 

:  Uree    females.     Costumes,   modern;    so  nterior. 

\ed.     Time,  a  lull  evening.     Price,  5O  Cents. 

•dy  in  Four  Acts.    ByOs<  AI:  "\Yiu>K. 
>"ine  malc-- 

trn;  scenery,  three  interiors.     Plays  a  full  evening.     Acting  rights 
rt served.     Sold  for  reading.     Price,  ."><)  Ct-nt*. 

THE  IMPORTANCE  OF  BEING  EARNEST  ^e  £ 

WILDE.    Five  males,  four  fern 

interiors  and  an  exterior.     Plays  a  full  evening.     Acting  ri_ 

served.     Price,  5O  Cents. 


I  AflY 
It  AVI 


'S  FAN    Comedy  in  Fon 
3  TAW    WILUE.     Sv.-v.-ji   ma 


males.  ihr.'e  interiors. 

evening.     A*  I'rice,  .">O  Ceiii.-. 

NATHAN  HAIF  irActs.    BVCLYD 

11A1IIH11    lll\L,Li 

century  in  America.  'iir  interiors  and  : 

ingr:.  -d.     Plays  a  full  evening.     I'l-ice,  5O  (  'ents. 

THP  HTHFB  FFI  I  AW    Comedy  in  Thr.  M.  P..  HOUNK. 

iiit;  uiiiLft  rEt,L,U" 

1  1    stage  ri;_' 
Plays  a  full  evening.     Pi-ive,  5O  i  cuts. 

THF 

111C 

TV,  an  interior  and   :iu  exterior;    oostin 
Acting  right-  a.  full  evening.     I'ri<-«-    ."»<>  (  ents. 

-Mimes,  mod. 
exterior.     Plays  a  full  e^ 
reading  only.      1'riee.  ."><)  Cents. 


ftF  TFAPS 

Vf    1EAIV3    CiiAMiiEits.   Four  UK- 


A  WOMAN  OF  NO  IMPORTANCE 


Sent  prepaid  on  receipt  of  price  by 

Walter  $.  "Bafeer  &  Company 

No.  5  Hamilton  Place,  Boston,  Massachusetts 


